I want you to want me

In our Buckhead small group, we just started reading “Wild at Heart.” While it offers insight into the heart of men, it also gives a glimpse into the heart of a woman. Eldredge refers to Genesis 1:27, which says:

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

In reference to this verse, Eldredge writes “God doesn’t make generic people; he makes something very distinct – a man or a woman. In other words, there is a masculine heart and a feminine heart, which in their own ways reflect or portray to the world God’s heart.”

He goes on to say that, “ As a counselor and a friend, and especially as a husband, I’ve been honored to be welcomed into the deep heart of Eve. Often when I am with a woman, I find myself quietly wondering, What is she telling me about God? I know he wants to say something to the world through Eve – what is it? And after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God’s heart is, ‘Why won’t you choose Me?’ It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. ‘You will . . . find me,’ says the Lord, ‘when you seek me with all your heart’ (Jer. 29:13). In other words, ‘Look for me, pursue me – I want you to pursue me.’ Amazing. As Tozer says, ‘God waits to be wanted.’ “

And then later, “The reason a woman wants a beauty to unveil, the reason she asks, Do you delight in me? is simply that God does as well. God is captivating beauty. As David prays, ‘One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may . . . gaze upon the beauty of the LORD’ (Ps. 27:4). Can there be any doubt that God wants to be worshiped? That he wants to be seen, and for us to be captivated by what we see? As C.S. Lewis wrote, ‘The beauty of the female is the root of joy to the female as well as to the male . . . to desire the enjoying of her own beauty is the obedience of Eve, and to both it is in the lover that the beloved tastes of her own delightfulness.’ “

I’ve been pondering over these words for the past couple of days. Wow. As a woman, I want so much to know that Chip desires me. In his eyes, I want all other women to pale in comparison to me. I want to be the one that satisfies him, fills him up, leaves him wanting for nothing (in a physical and emotional sense). I would feel so broken hearted to discover that he found another more attractive than me, or that he wanted to talk to another more than me, or that his thoughts were dwelling on another woman. It doesn’t matter to me if he is tired, not feeling well, had a long day – I still need to hear those words from him, “I love you, and I want you.” When he tells me in the morning that he thinks I’m beautiful or he especially likes my outfit or he gives me an extra tight hug on the way out the door – that leaves me with a smile until I come home.

To consider all of this – this longing of my heart – and then to look at my relationship with God in such a light, I am humbled. How often do I pass Him by without telling Him that I need Him desperately, that my life would be meaningless without Him, that it is only by His grace that I am where I am and am able to survive the day? How often do I lay in bed at night, weary and exhausted, feeling too tired to pray or read, or rush through my morning routine without giving Him a second thought? As women, how can we fail to connect with God on this desire to be desired? And yet, how comforting to know that He relates to us on this desperate wanting for another to want us! He won’t leave us wanting, even if the others in our lives fail on this point.

How, then, can we leave Him wanting?